A few weeks back I posted a small rant about someone perceiving my life as being unhappy. Their perception was based on my Facebook posts or rather the lack of happy posts. She, an ex coworker who doesn’t know anything about my life delivered her take on it via Facebook messenger. My response to her was pretty generic hoping she’d understand I was not going to engage at that moment.
Obviously this struck a nerve with me as I am still posting about it on my own blog. Here is the Facebook post https://www.facebook.com/
After I was done being passive aggressive about the whole thing, I thought I probably don’t post enough of the good times. I really should blog about the triumphs as well. Sharing the bad seems like a way for me to say ,look world this is what Bipolar looks like. Here I am having melt downs, being depressed and feeling out of sorts, trying to stay alive and what not. If this is all people see on my page I can understand why one would think I am unhappy or not doing well.
What about the stable times? I should post more about the stable times because that is what we strive to be. Stable times are the quiet times when my mind rests. I feel posting about it seems boring or uneventful who wants to read that? Melt downs are much more entertaining to read about lol.
Here is my positive post on my life for this week. Today is Tuesday and no meltdowns so far, that is a good start. My maternal instincts are back, I am sure my kids are just loving it (insert sarcasm here).When I am “sick” mothering is so hard for me. It’s hard to pull out of the thick darkness and mother my children. It’s been such a long time since I was truly maternal with my kids I thought forgot how to be a mother. Now that I am not sick I am probably going overboard on the motherly stuff. Last night I literally sprayed them down with lavender spray mist to help put them to sleep. They both had a stupid state mandated test this morning (don’t even get me going on that!). I even woke up extra early to prepare breakfast for them. I am sure they are confused as hell but I will continue to keep mothering them as much as I can because with this disorder who knows how long it’ll let me continue on this path.
Well that wasn’t so hard, blogging about the good no matter how small reminds me that I doing ok. Thank you to the ex coworker who wished that one day I would be as happy as she is. I think something good came out of it after all